


Oh, my love, don't stop burning

by DigitalMeowMix



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Awkward Flirting, Canon Bisexual Character, F/F, PSTD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-13 22:50:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16901301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalMeowMix/pseuds/DigitalMeowMix
Summary: A regular day at Amnesty lodge, which includes nightmares,a diaster bisexual trying to flirt, french onion soup, anxiety attacks and tears, and a hot springs date





	Oh, my love, don't stop burning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gayporwave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayporwave/gifts).



> Set before episode 16.  
> Thanks to my beta Doc Be the Cowboy MD

Aubrey felt like she had only just fallen asleep as she was startled awake by a loud knock at her door. After the Pizza Hut incident, her sleep schedule had been fucked up from nightmares, and she had had a particularly shitty time last night. Sleep had came in erratic bursts punctuated with pacing around her room in the dark. She had thought she had done a pretty good job of suppressing the trauma from the fire by now. She definitely deserved an "I tried” sticker since the flashbacks and dissociation usually only roared back a life a few times a year, particularly around her birthday or Mother's Day. But it was like living in Tornado Alley. You build your house back up from the last storm and then it's blown off the map next year just the same.

She took a moment to assure herself she was truly awake and not about to be crushed by a neon sign from family restaurant chain in a nightmare, then groaned and called out in a sleep scratchy voice, “Hello?”

Mama’s voice came from through the door, her twang muffled but unmistakable. “Aubrey, hey, sorry to wake you but can you come down to my office when you have a minute later today?”

Aubrey was pretty annoyed at being woken, but she supposed Mama was important enough to her that she could forgive her.

“Ok sure, see you in a bit,” she replied around a yawn.

“Thanks honey, good morning by the way.”

“Morning Mama,” she chimed.

After Mama’s footsteps faded away, she gave herself a five minute snooze button and then hoisted herself upright in bed. She sat on the edge of her dark red comforter and took her phone from the nightstand.

She had a few instagram notification mostly from fellow magicians and some bands and bunny blogs. There were also a few Snapchat messages from Jake Cool Ice, probably videos of him doing some sick new tricks on the slopes, but she wasn't awake enough to unironically enjoy those yet.

She got dressed in leggings and a Kepler High sweatshirt she had borrowed from Duck after a Pine Guard case that had involved toxic goo that had ruined a really cute top she had found years ago in bargain bin at a a thrift shop and shuffled over to the corner where Dr. Harris Bonkers was just waking up as well.

“Good morning, Doctor! Ready to save lives today?” she asked as she busied herself filling his food bowl.

The rabbit nuzzled her hand as Aubrey returned the newly filled bowl and scratched between his ears before detaching his almost empty water bottle and refilling it in her bathroom.

After quickly washing her face and brushing her teeth, she bid Dr. Harris Bonkers a good day and made her way downstairs.

 

The lobby was toasty warm, which was nice as Aubrey had forgotten to slip on her socks. It was still pretty quiet in the lodge that morning,but the hot springs were probably packed right now with residents looking for an early morning rejuvenation. She had noticed a lot of the Sylphs liked early morning or late night soaks. She recognized a few of the residents milling around this morning. Barclay was knitting by the fireplace; he seemed to be working a scarf in deep greens and blues. Cordelia was reading a book by the window. Jonas was playing Solitaire at the coffee table in front of the fire, occasionally raising his head to say something to Barclay.

She made her way to the kitchen and readied herself for the breakfast lottery. Since the lodge was mostly home to Sylphs, the food in stock mostly appealed to the palate of non-humans. So unless she felt like eating raw wild mushrooms, fish oil protein shakes, blood pudding, week-old Hawaiian pizza, or rare venison chili so spicy it had scorched the roof of her mouth for a week after Barclay had dared her to taste it, she had to buy her own food. She couldn't remember when she had last gone shopping at the Kepler WaWa though, so she hoped there was something she could eat.

She passed Lucy on the way to the industrial sized fridge; she was stirring something in a sizzling pan that smelled like Pine-sol. Her long brown hair mostly hid the small nubby horns at the top of her head. She looked up from the pan and smiled sleepily at her. Aubrey waved politely but she didn't really know Lucy well. Other than Mama and Barclay and Jake helping with Pine Guard work and flirting with Dani, she didn't really interact with anybody at Amnesty, although she knew a few names and could recognize some faces. She should probably fix that, but just the idea of social interaction this early made her want to go back to bed already

She opened the fridge and stared at the space she had designated "Aubrey's food." It even had a little sign with her name in cursive, with wicked cool flames coming off each letter. All that was left was a six pack of peach snapple, a few energy bars, and a pack of pepperoni. She sighed but swiped an energy bar and returned to the lobby to sit in one of the plush armchairs by the back window, enjoying the ambient noise of the lobby .

 

She hadn't feel herself drifting off but was awoken by a gentle shake of her shoulder. Aubrey opened her eyes and jolted up in the chair when saw Dani in front of her, looking as cute as usual but a bit concerned.

“Hey, Aubrey, sorry to wake up but it's past noon, and you have um... Crumbs all  
over? She gestured to her own front and Aubrey glanced down with dawning horror as there were in fact apple cinnamon oatmeal bar crumbs making a mess of Duck's borrowed sweatshirt.

Fuck, if she concentrated really could she uses her powers to self immolate right now?

“Oh shit, thank you!” she stuttered. She dusted herself off quickly and then sat up in the armchair in a way that she hoped looked cool and casual.

“What are you up to today?” she asked.

“I was thinking about going to Kepler Flea Market later, I've gotta update the wardrobe and keep my looks fresh, right?” Dani gestured to her clothes. She was currently wearing a knee-length floral skirt, leggings decorated with squirrels and acorns, and a fluffy robin’s egg blue sweater with tassels and a few holes. Her Birkenstocks were scuffed and worn.Her dark blond dreaded hair hung around her freckled face in slightly frizzy waves.

Aubrey looked straight into her bright orange eyes and made a noise of agreement

“Hey, when I get back I'm gonna take a soak in the springs after dinner. Wanna join me?“  
“Yes!” she said quickly, sounding overeager but not really caring.

Dani smiled; her teeth were very pointy. Aubrey wondered how kissing would work with fangs. “Cool, see you later then, I gotta go so I can beat the crowds,” Dani said as she made her way to the door.

“Bye!” Aubrey replied as she instinctively gave a little wave, like an idiot.

She was so pleased and a bit stunned at how well that had gone that it took a few minutes for her brain to kick in.

Oh shit hot springs, wet, sweaty Dani. Oh shit. She didn't have a bathing suit, did that mean going naked? What if she showed up naked and offended Dani and all of Sylph kind with her human flesh? But weren't you supposed to be naked in a hot spring? Oh no that was worse. The idea of being naked in front of an equally naked Dani made her want to set herself on fire even more than the embarrassment of being covered in crumbs had.

 

She thankfully didn't have to stew in her nerves long as  a few moments later the lobby door swung open with a clunk and a burst of cold air, and Duck entered followed by Ned.

“Hey guys, what's up?” She hadn't expected to see them today; as far as she knew Mama hadn't given them a Pine Guard assignment in about a week.

Duck was dressed mostly casual, although he still had his ranger hat. Maybe that was his only hat. He raised the plastic bag he was holding and replied a bit sheepishly, "We were hoping to use the lodge’s kitchen facilities as ours are either insufficient or..." And here he gave a pointed glance back at Ned, who was bundled up like a little kid again the cold. The look conveyed that he was either greatly disappointed in him or had seen a horror that would haunt him for days. “Or unsuitable to try to recreate Hubert’s French onion soup"

She didn't know what the hell they were talking about but it was almost lunch time and she was bored

“Oh cool, I'm sure Barclay wouldn't mind you using the kitchen as long as you clean up.”

Duck nodded but looked bit offended at the very idea of him not keeping a kitchen in pristine condition.

Aubrey followed them to the kitchen after they had had taken off their coats or in Ned's case had also unraveled a giant tattered scarf from around his neck and unclipped the fuzzy earmuffs from his head. She noticed Lucy was now gone, so it was just Pine Guard members in the kitchen. While Duck badgered Ned to actually measure the ingredients correctly between telling a hilarious story about a Beacon threatening to eat his cat, Aubrey tried to think of what Mama could want to talk to her about.

“Hey guys, has Mama asked to talk to you lately?” she asked.

“No, I can't say I have been graced with a one on one with our fearless leader,” Ned drawled while cutting the onions with all the flair of a showman, if not a competent chef.

“Nope,” Duck said simply, too distracted by trying to salvage the other soup ingredients from whatever Ned had just done to them like culinary clean up crew

Oh crap. Her stomach clenched, and she gripped the counter where she had perched to watch the guys work, feeling like she had been shoved, trying to stay upright.

Her brain went into overdrive trying to work it out. What had she fucked up?

It must be her magic. She had made some improvements controlling her fire; she was able to control the size of her flames pretty consistently these days. Her aim wasn't always on point though, which had almost killed Duck. But she was getting a bit more precise. Maybe she wasn't improving fast enough. She had been magical for months; was there some sort of timeline? Were there magical milestones she wasn't hitting? Was she going to wash out of the Pine Guard?

She stared at the fridge across the room, trying to focus on the shiny surface where she could just make out a blurry outline of her own face. Everything else melted away as she concentrated. She began to go over the list of the few friends she had, trying to decide whose couch she could crash on when she got kicked out of the lodge. Duck lived in a tiny apartment and Ned probably slept on a cot in the back of the Cryptonomica, so they would be little help, and she didn't want burden them anyway. She had some money for a Motel 6 if it came to that.

“Uh, Aubrey?” Duck’s voice jolted her like feedback on a microphone, the only sound she had truly heard for the past few minutes, although who knew how long she had zoned out. It seemed a monumental task to turn her gaze to him.

Duck was in the middle of loading the dishwasher, a hand towel over his shoulder. He stared at her.

“So the soup needs to simmer, and Ned went to go bother Barclay, something about getting a fur sample for an exhibit. Wanna play cards or something?”

Say something, Aubrey, she thought. She grasped unconvincingly at her stomach. “Nah, I'm gonna take a nap, I don't feel so good,” she stuttered.

Duck nodded but looked a bit disappointed. “See you later then. I'll save you a bowl, OK?

The thought of eating French onion soup right now made bile rise in her throat, no matter how good it smelled, but she gave a quick thanks and hopped down from the counter.

 

By the time she made it back to her room she closed her bedroom door with a slightly shaking hand, her mind racing.

Should she start packing now just in case? No, that was crazy, she was being crazy, right?

She paced around the room,trying to remember to take deep breathes while thinking of her next move. She wished Dr. Harris Bonkers was awake. She needed to cuddle something or scream or burn something. But of those three the least destructive option was fast asleep and got pissed at being awoken early from his naps.

After a couple minutes of pacing and stewing she decided screw it, and tore through her medicine cabinet looking for something to knock her out for a bit. Might as well go back to bed.

 

She was awoken later by her phone blaring a text from her nightstand. When she opened her eyes she saw that the sky had gotten dark outside her window. Hopefully she had slept through the day so as to postpone her meeting with Mama.

Then she remembered her date with Dani. She grabbed her phone which, in her distress, she had forgotten to set an alarm on, and swiped, dreading whatever message had been delivered.

(Dani)

Hey we still on for hot springs?

Shit. She checked the time. She had slept for six hours. Did Dani think she had flaked? Smooth move, Aubrey.

Shit shit shit.

(Aubrey)  
Yeah sure be there in a bit I just gotta talk to Mama first.

(Dani)  
Cool I'll meet you there.

Her second message ended in a string of emojis. If Aubrey didn't feel like shit at the moment she would have been charmed.

Well, there was no getting around it, it was time to face the music. At least she could say goodbye to Dani afterwards.

 

Audrey had been an okay kid growing up. There had been the normal teenage rebellion, but she had never gotten into real deep shit until after the fire and getting her magic. This made her slow walk to Mama’s office that much more like what she imagined a trip to the principal's office must feel like. Or maybe a trip to Dumbledore's office on account of all the magic. At least she didn't have a wand Mama could snap in half.

Mama’s office door was opened a bit when she arrived but Aubrey knocked lightly anyway. Mama looked up from a map on her desk and smiled tiredly. Maybe she wasn't angry, then. Oh god, then it was even worse, she must be disappointed.

“Come on in, Aubrey.”

Aubrey sat on the plush armchair by her desk. It smelled like pine trees and was velvety soft. Her parents’ house had been filled with beautiful leather furniture. She had spent long hours napping and reading there. While she had been on the road doing magic and sleeping in crappy motels she had missed that comfort. The memory makes her stomach clench even worse, until she feels tears start to surface.

“So, Aubrey... I wanna talk to you about how your training is going.”

She couldn't take it anymore. Aubrey Little wasn't known for for her patience, even with bad news.

“I'm sorry!” she blurted. “I'll try harder, I know I'm still pretty shitty at magic stuff but I think ... I know ...I can do better!” She realized she had no real defense beyond pleading. What could she say? That eventually the number on the “Days since last fiery incident” board would be in the double digits, hopefully before she really killed someone? Well, someone else.

Mama looked at her, confused and out of her depth at her outburst. “Aubrey, are you ok?”

The tone of concern in her voice is what did it. It had been so long since someone had said her name like that. Warm and concerned and patient.

The tears finally came. She just sat there and started to cry like a baby.

Mama leaned forward, stunned. “Aubrey, it’s fine, it’s ok. I just wanted to talk to you about starting training with Minister Janelle soon.”

The relief hit her after a few seconds of shock and she started to cry harder. It had been a while since her last check up with the Minister to review whether she was ready to start her training. It had basically amounted to going to Sylvain only to be grilled about her life and psyche, then running drills with her flames. Janelle would hmmm and huh and take notes then say not yet and turn her away. She had started to give up hope ever making the grade.

Mama sighed and and reached under her desk , retrieving a bottle of whiskey and a glass. She poured it,then she came around the desk and handed it to Aubrey while putting her other hand on her left shoulder, she squeezed a bit. Aubrey wiped her eyes and took a ill-advised gulp;the face she made at the taste made Mama laugh. The tense knot in her stomach that had loosened at Mama’s words unraveled completely.

“Aubrey. listen to me, Sylphs grow up around the arcane, it’s literally part of who and what they are. You just got these powers a few months ago. No one can fault you for not being an expert yet. You've done incredible work in the Pine Guard so far, and with Minister Janelle’s training you’re only going to get stronger. I'm excited to see how much you can do.”

 

They discussed her schedule for upcoming training sessions for a bit after she managed to stop crying. After a while Mama started to dismiss her with another shoulder squeeze but held her there for a moment and looked at her intently.

“Aubrey, if you ever feel this way again, I want you to know I’m here for you. I know I’m not always the most open person.” She chuckled a bit as she said this. “But I promise you when I’m not away for Pine Guard work I will always make time for you. I need my Pine Guard in tip top shape!” she said encouragingly.

Mama was right, she wasn’t a very open person. Aubrey knew next to nothing about her. But she found she still trusted Mama’s words and left with a nod and a thank you.

She still wasn’t sure if she should even be using her magic. It all seemed like big mistake most of the time, but at least she wouldn’t be homeless while she figured it out. And maybe Janelle could fix it anyway. She should have been embarrassed for freaking out but what she really felt was exhausted. What she needed was a good soak.

 It was chilly out back of the lodge as she went outside, her towel just barely shielding her, and the sky was just opening up with stars onto the dark clear sky. The backyard was calm and quiet, the only ambient sounds being the springs running, the wind stirring through the trees, and the handful of residents lounging in the springs talking quietly. She looked around a bit until she saw Dani in a small alcove near of the back of the springs waving at her.

She walked over to find Dani sitting in the corner, her face flushed and smiling. “Hi! You made it, I'm glad.” She pointed to a six-pack resting on the deck next to her. “I got us some really good root beer, so jump on in, the water’s mighty nice.”

Aubrey didn’t have the easiest relationship on a normal day with her body, never mind that it now produced unpredictable fire,but at that moment with her stressful day behind her, she found herself dropping her towel and stepping in with ease.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Flames by Sia and David Guetta
> 
> Fun fact! Sia has 3 songs that mention fire. It was hard to chose which one to use for a title.


End file.
